“I don’t know Ca, why he didn’t understand me?”

“Huh, I don’t know Ca, what is my fault to her?”

Those are just some examples of statement that my friends told to me when they had a problem with their beloved one. I know I’m not the expert about this thing, but I don’t know why some of my friends believe to me and ask me an advice when they get problem in their relationship.

I think that relationship, especially woman-man relationship is such a unique thing. How two different persons can fall in love to each other and then decide to build a relationship. Sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it turn sour, salty and sometimes: spicy. It is like Nona-nona candy, isn’t it?

Relationship is a sweet thing yet can turn into complicated thing. Usually, the problem that cause it is lack of understanding between both of couple. It is true that woman and man are different. Not only physically, but also mentally and the way of thinking. Woman much more use emotion while man use logic thinking. But, the similarity between them is: they want to be happy in their relationship.

From what I’ve examine in many cases or problems reported, here are some of my advices to prevent your relationship become complicated.


Don’t Sweat Small Stuff

As a woman, I know that sometimes we become too worry about big problems in woman’s world : our weight, our outfit, etc. You maybe ask your boyfriend’s opinion about it. Because they think logically, don’t be too surprised (read: angry) when they tell the truth or give you a harsh comment.

Some of men are sweet, they may say “both of the dress are suit for you”. Some of them said it honestly (so, believe it) but sometimes it can be the easiest sentence to say when they already tired accompanying you shopping. So, just choose which you love the most. Don’t make the situation turn bad with any bad mood face : )

Think positive

When you chat with him and he is late for replying, he may fall asleep (and it is physiologic). When he is late to pick you up, he may be trapped in traffic light. Don’t be angry easily. They are human too. I know sometimes it hard to think positively, but believe me. It will save your day. Somehow, when you also put your believe to him, he will remind you.

Don’t Make a Code

Not all of them were born to be a code reader so don’t play a code. Don’t pretend to be strong, don’t say the reverse thing while you have something to say. It will be better to build a good communication. I think speak honestly won’t lowering your pride, instead it will show that you are mature enough to solve a problem without masking it.

Respect their life

Remember that he also has family, friends, hobby, club, job, etc. Let him to have his “me time”. Don’t be so possessive. Love is like sand, hold it too tight or too loose, you’ll lose it. Instead of cranky or angry when he is not around, you can do another productive thing or have your time with another friends.


I know it is hard to understand a woman (because sometimes I also can’t understand my self), but most of women are appreciating your effort to understand them. Just in case..

Don’t be Too Hard to them

Some says woman think with their heart. Some of them may take everything emotionally. Even some women look strong, they are woman. Please don’t use sarcasm words or do violent to them; instead choose the sweet ones, be warmth to them. Remember, they will be a mother in the future, so treat a woman as nice as you treat your mother.

Woman also has period every month that makes the curvature of hormone released affect to their instability mood a.k.a. PMS. Please be understand, that those time is also a confusing time for them.

Show your Care

When I asked my friends, why she choose X, another friend choose Y, their reason was same : “because he is kind, because he is care to me”. Such a good night message or bring a soup when she is sick is another good example action of care.

Don’t be Angry when She Repeatedly Asking You

I know sometimes you’ll feel bored when they ask you 5W+1H. But, please, it is because she cares to you. Report honestly (and maybe diligently).

“I am OK” phrase

Most of women say that phrase when actually it is not alright. Don’t just believe it, there must be something wrong.

“Up to You” phrase

This phrase maybe will make most of you feeling guilty and confuse. Like the phrase before, there must be something wrong. Please, talk to her patiently.


to have a good relationship, don’t think about your happines, don’t think about my happiness. But our happiness – Ajahn Brahm

This is my very late submission for BEC’s challenge. I hope that this simple post can help at least be reminder for me or become my prophylaxis to prevent the complicated relationship.

But, I think I can not help for another case of complicated relationship that involve difference of cast, religion and another invisible wall that human made.

Then, if you have love but you can’t build your relationship :

change your love to the purest kind of love, love without desire to possess.

Then if you have to be in a relationship without love :

let love come when you accustomed 


PS : to dear admin, this challenge is more (and more) than difficult. The hardest part, isn’t about how to write the content but how to not involving my emotion inside and still objective in writing. Anyway, thanks for this ocassion

with much more love,


Posted in STORY-OPINION, To think


Today, our point of view of games has changed recently. Many years ago, games were associated with children, form of playing or sport and sometimes related to outdoor activity. By now, we can see that playing games doesn’t have any age limitation; from child to adult can play games. Games also can be played indoor and even easier. The gadget era today has brought us many games that have much more variation, more interesting and easy to get: just by clicking, downloading and then we can start playing the game.


Brain Training and Activation

When playing a game, another part of the brain will be activated, according to what type of game that we played. Game that need visual and spatial ability, music games, game that need interpretation will activate your right brain. In another side, game that involve your memory recall, mathematical computation, logic thinking and language will train your left brain.

Muscle Training

Sport is also a kind of game. Do some sports or any playing activity outside home (dance, futsal, badminton, etc) will train our muscle, burn some excess calories, train our cardiovascular organ, detoxifying our body and of course will give us a healthy body. Now, the games that are in our gadget only train the digiti minimi muscle; muscle of our fingers. But, there are some applications that still help us how to exercise well by using exercise track record, calorie burner, any kind of work out application.

Coping with Stress

Playing game is one of many other ways to cope up with stress. Playing games provide us a distraction from stress and some type of games can give us relaxation. The feeling when you win the games can repair your mood. But, it should be noticed that many of games now provide more challenges. Instead of evade us from stress, it can vest us more stress and addiction.


(credit for Tajog/egrang/joglagan

Social Aspect

Games can be played in group and solo. Many type of games before were played in a group. I remember when I was child, I would meet my friends to play game. Playing game was one thing that could unite us and made us had the feeling of togetherness among ourselves. Playing game tighten our bond and friendship. Now, some children prefer to play solo. They might connected by internet connection, LAN, and any other sharing tool, but they may lose eye contact, touch, sweat and maybe another thing that they can’t get while playing together.

Cultural Aspect

Game is also one of another pillars of culture in Indonesia. Indonesia has many traditional games and today our children don’t know much about them. When, I was child I used to play cingklak (like marble game, but use small stones, different with congklak), tambak-tambakan (like gobak sodor) and my favorite one is playing joglagan/enggrang. Now, those games only played when independence day, August 17 and the contestant were they who are the same age with me, because maybe our children don’t know how to play it. I’m bit worried, if one day the generation who know how to play them get old, couldn’t play them, the traditional games will be vanished too.

Economical Aspect

The new form of games can be economically worthy if we know how to make online games or games application. According to, in 2014 Indonesian people who use smartphone are about 38 million people and it was estimated that total revenue for online PC games in Indonesia about 136.5 million US dollars. It would become benefit to Indonesian technopreneur. I tried to search some online games, but still many of them were created by people from another country. Only few online games or application were produced by Indonesian people. We should appreciate that Indonesia still have people who are creative and competitive.


Like any other tools in life, games could be benefit for us when we use it in a right manner. Games can train your brain, help you to cope with stress and make you more healthy. Games can be a bell that remind us of our culture. Games can be a site of business, bring you out an income. But, we should also remember too much playing games can destroy our study, our work, our life and put out the money from our pocket. At the end, the balance is the key to avoid the bad influence.

The concern should also focused on children that playing the games. Again, the parents are the one who take the responsibility to manage their children. Choose wisely the game that suitable to your children according to their age. Now many parents use their gadget to calm down their children, but never think what the implication to their children. Our children will depend on gadget, they may addicted to it, they might lose the feeling of togetherness, they might don’t have the sweet memories like we used to when we were child and played our games.

Let us back again to that time, let us play the old games that we had left 🙂 and, be wise to use gadget.

with love, cahyanidwy


This is the second time for me to submit my post to BEC‘s weekly challenge. Honestly, I would like to submit it at Friday like its name, English Friday weekly challenge. But, I’m afraid on that day I’m on duty and will be late to submit my post. So, to dear admin, it is okay then?

with so much love,