“I don’t know Ca, why he didn’t understand me?”

“Huh, I don’t know Ca, what is my fault to her?”

Those are just some examples of statement that my friends told to me when they had a problem with their beloved one. I know I’m not the expert about this thing, but I don’t know why some of my friends believe to me and ask me an advice when they get problem in their relationship.

I think that relationship, especially woman-man relationship is such a unique thing. How two different persons can fall in love to each other and then decide to build a relationship. Sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it turn sour, salty and sometimes: spicy. It is like Nona-nona candy, isn’t it?

Relationship is a sweet thing yet can turn into complicated thing. Usually, the problem that cause it is lack of understanding between both of couple. It is true that woman and man are different. Not only physically, but also mentally and the way of thinking. Woman much more use emotion while man use logic thinking. But, the similarity between them is: they want to be happy in their relationship.

From what I’ve examine in many cases or problems reported, here are some of my advices to prevent your relationship become complicated.


Don’t Sweat Small Stuff

As a woman, I know that sometimes we become too worry about big problems in woman’s world : our weight, our outfit, etc. You maybe ask your boyfriend’s opinion about it. Because they think logically, don’t be too surprised (read: angry) when they tell the truth or give you a harsh comment.

Some of men are sweet, they may say “both of the dress are suit for you”. Some of them said it honestly (so, believe it) but sometimes it can be the easiest sentence to say when they already tired accompanying you shopping. So, just choose which you love the most. Don’t make the situation turn bad with any bad mood face : )

Think positive

When you chat with him and he is late for replying, he may fall asleep (and it is physiologic). When he is late to pick you up, he may be trapped in traffic light. Don’t be angry easily. They are human too. I know sometimes it hard to think positively, but believe me. It will save your day. Somehow, when you also put your believe to him, he will remind you.

Don’t Make a Code

Not all of them were born to be a code reader so don’t play a code. Don’t pretend to be strong, don’t say the reverse thing while you have something to say. It will be better to build a good communication. I think speak honestly won’t lowering your pride, instead it will show that you are mature enough to solve a problem without masking it.

Respect their life

Remember that he also has family, friends, hobby, club, job, etc. Let him to have his “me time”. Don’t be so possessive. Love is like sand, hold it too tight or too loose, you’ll lose it. Instead of cranky or angry when he is not around, you can do another productive thing or have your time with another friends.


I know it is hard to understand a woman (because sometimes I also can’t understand my self), but most of women are appreciating your effort to understand them. Just in case..

Don’t be Too Hard to them

Some says woman think with their heart. Some of them may take everything emotionally. Even some women look strong, they are woman. Please don’t use sarcasm words or do violent to them; instead choose the sweet ones, be warmth to them. Remember, they will be a mother in the future, so treat a woman as nice as you treat your mother.

Woman also has period every month that makes the curvature of hormone released affect to their instability mood a.k.a. PMS. Please be understand, that those time is also a confusing time for them.

Show your Care

When I asked my friends, why she choose X, another friend choose Y, their reason was same : “because he is kind, because he is care to me”. Such a good night message or bring a soup when she is sick is another good example action of care.

Don’t be Angry when She Repeatedly Asking You

I know sometimes you’ll feel bored when they ask you 5W+1H. But, please, it is because she cares to you. Report honestly (and maybe diligently).

“I am OK” phrase

Most of women say that phrase when actually it is not alright. Don’t just believe it, there must be something wrong.

“Up to You” phrase

This phrase maybe will make most of you feeling guilty and confuse. Like the phrase before, there must be something wrong. Please, talk to her patiently.


to have a good relationship, don’t think about your happines, don’t think about my happiness. But our happiness – Ajahn Brahm

This is my very late submission for BEC’s challenge. I hope that this simple post can help at least be reminder for me or become my prophylaxis to prevent the complicated relationship.

But, I think I can not help for another case of complicated relationship that involve difference of cast, religion and another invisible wall that human made.

Then, if you have love but you can’t build your relationship :

change your love to the purest kind of love, love without desire to possess.

Then if you have to be in a relationship without love :

let love come when you accustomed 


PS : to dear admin, this challenge is more (and more) than difficult. The hardest part, isn’t about how to write the content but how to not involving my emotion inside and still objective in writing. Anyway, thanks for this ocassion

with much more love,



Cogito Ergo Sum, que sera sera.


  1. I used to be too dumb to deal with subtlety, so the “don’t make a code” ginger cookie suits me very much. Men should learn hidden meaning of women’s word, for that would make relationship sustain.

    1. Haha, thank you Mas Yogi, then I think you should learn how to be a code reader 🙂 But, it is better to tell your woman that it’s okay to speak straightly 😀

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