What is dream? According to the theory proposed by Sigmund Freud,”dream is a meaningful expression that comes from mind and brain system”. The dreams occur when we sleep at the Rapid Eye Movement phase of sleep. But, this post isn’t about that dream in ‘medical view’ although it maybe related to my ‘medical life’.
The first dream I ever had when I was in kindergarten was becoming a model. I didn’t know (maybe I didn’t remember) who inspire me and how I got that dream. I suspect, in the previous reincarnation (maybe) I was a model. Kidding. But actually I still curious why I wanted to be a model on that time. It was still a mystery.
When I entered to elementary school, I was excited to natural science, especially to animal and plant.
I remember that I brought ruler everywhere and did examine the length of long beans which was planted in my home’s yard.
I made a mix of water from washed rice, monosodium glutamate (Ajino****), some old leafs and then pour them into my plants wondered they would fertile.
What a pity, the next day they got dried!It left me speechless but then I continued with another formula. On that time, I had a dream to become an inventor.
Because of failing to become the famous young inventor, I got another interest to animal.
When I was about 8 or 9 y.o, my father had a hobby to hunt bird and squirrel. He brought them home.
I saw many wounds on their wings or on their leg. I was sad to see them and then in hurry, I took my socks and wrapped their wounds.
Some were alive but some were dead, maybe because of serious hemorrhage. On that time, I wanted to be a veterinary doctor.
I read some books in the school library about bibliography of doctor, but the book was not about veterinarian doctor but a bibliography of a medical doctor. I forgot his name, but his life journey had become the seed in my mind to become a doctor.
When I was child, I always got frightening to think about seeing doctor. They wore white coat and hate children!
Until I got a fever with diarrhea and stomach ache at the same time. (Maybe I got dysentery on that time haha.) It was sunday and I thought there would be no doctor and I would die.
But I got saved by a doctor. Then, I decided that I wanted to be a medical doctor. I want to save human life. Actually, I want to be a superhero called doctor.
I only knew that to become a doctor, I should study hard.This habit gave me more than just a living dream, but also gave me the chance to taste the feeling of getting the first rank and high grade.
My desire to become a doctor grew bigger, I want to continue my study to medical faculty. But, to become a doctor isn’t as easy as I dreamed about it.
It was happened when I attended the entry test. What a question, I felt like I tried to answer science’s Olympiad test.
I went home with desperate feelings and also a serious tension type headache. I thought, I would become an English teacher like my father.
On my last hope to became a teacher, I got announcement that I passed the medical faculty’s entry test. I was so happy.
But another problem came. My mother didn’t agree with it. She heard from the people that study in medical faculty would spend much of money. Our family was not that rich, I knew her worries.
My father then asked everyone that had experience about how is the medical faculty. Some of them and also my aunt-that have relative who become doctor- encourage us.
One of my father’s best friend said to my father “It is a rare chance, many persons want to enter it but failed. But your daughter passed it, you should have courage to take the chance.”
My parents finally agreed to support me study at medical faculty. I remember how they made Tape Singkong (casava fermentation) until midnight, had less sleep and woke up in the early morning to sold them. Just to get additional income to my and my brother school fee.
When I already in medical school, I struggled a lot. There are many tests and examinations. Sometimes I doubt my self, but what my parents had done always remind me to be strong.
The dream that was built many years ago, already came true. Now I am a general physician, and they called me ‘doctor’.
Maybe, if I could back to the past I will encourage my past self:
“You can be what you want to be,
never give up”
After this dream, I still have another dream that I want to achieve: a writer, an activist, continue my education to specialist, study abroad.. and many things. But, let me keep my efforts in silent and let the success become the noise.
Thank you God, thank you Aji dan Ibu, my family, all of best friends, and many other people that I couldn’t count one by one.. Thanks for everything 🙂 I still have many dreams I want to achieve, don’t stop support me.
with love, eka cahyanidwy
PS : This is my forth submission to BEC, anyone who read this post you are kindly invited to be our member, our friends 🙂